A Walk Down Irving Street
I was reading Doctor Northrop’s book the other day, and left Jeremy’s hospital room to take a walk down Irving Street to get some coffee at Don Juan’s Turkish coffee and Market, better known as Big Bears Sandwich Shop. I will explain later where I got the name of Mr. Smooth Talker of Turkish coffee.
I was pondering an excerpt in the book that the doctor had spoken of, from a Doctor Marshall Rosenberg. “All human behavior is an attempt to get a need met. This begins by listening for our needs and the needs of others- and believing that it’s okay to have needs in the first place.” So in other words, take small steps outside our boxes, and initiate compassionate verbiage to others. Rosenberg continued to say that “In order to flourish, we need to learn how to be in compassionate dialogue with ourselves. Rosenberg continues to say that as you become more conscious of our own roles in this feedback loop, and then change your thoughts and behavior patterns, both your health as an individual, and our health as a society will improve”.
So, I go back and see the man at the market (where I got a previous sandwich from) who said, “Come back to me beautiful lady, and let me make love (with my hands) and make you the best Turkish coffee you have ever had.” As I was checking out, the man was seducing me with his eyes, and he asks me, “Why are you here?” I tell him about my son briefly, don’t want to get too close, but surprised at how good the connection felt. He says to me, “Are you not going to ask me how my day is going? So I did…He says, “I just buried my 17 year old niece, she died in a car accident. He says, Give me your hand. Now just touch these two small fingers (pinky finger) together. That is how much connection and control we have over other people’s lives.”
It is so easy to make that meaningless conversation like, “How’s your day going…. good and how’s your day going? Good…and that is it! Nothing! We just continue to get out of life what we put into it. I got so much out of Mr. Don Juan on Irving Street; his Turkish coffee and his seductive eyes made my entire week. It made me think a lot about myself and how much more I want to connect with others before I die. I shared this story with my daughter Cassie. She and I desire this approach with people just because it is out of the norm. Everyone desires connection, we all want to feel important, to feel needed, and want to be accepted.
In conclusion, the last five years I have been trying to make sense of it all; dissecting my normality’s or lack thereof. I do not have any regrets, because I know that the past cannot be changed. I am not bitter towards anyone because of what they may have done, nor do I feel sorry for the mistakes that I have made; I cannot change what has happened in the past, but I can redirect the future. I see a pattern in the family, one of isolation (which I have), and laziness (which I am guilty), and excuses (which I make), for not stepping out more; it does not cost anything to give of yourself or share a story to another. My concern and desire at this time, is to break a cycle in hopes that my children will be more aware of ‘outward love. Big Bears Sandwich Shop gave me a shot in the heart, and Mr. Don Juan, the smooth talker, taught me a lot that day. I suspect he has had a lot of practice with the ladies, and it takes that extra step to open your heart to another without judgment. Maybe, one day, my children can experience a walk like I had down Irving Street
With all my love
Suzanne
